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That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.

Because why not?

If you really want to expand upon this story or if it somehow inspires you to write (sorry), a small acknowledgement would be great!

And so, without further ado, here is “Cthulu’s Day Off”:

Cthulu’s Day Off is a comical take on the lovecraftian horror. The story recounts the events of Cthulu’s first and only day off. Tired of the constant chaos and evil of his realm, he takes the form of a man and goes to earth. Whilst there, he meets a lonely boy, Christopher, who has run away from home. Cthulu learns that Christopher lives with his divorced mother, who is always working and never has the time or energy for him.

Together, Cthulu and Christopher have several adventures and gradually come to learn the true meaning of love and responsibility. Cthulhu discovers that just because he was born evil, that does not mean he has to stay that way. Christopher realizes that his mother has been working hard for his sake, and decides to return to his home. Meanwhile, Cthulhu’s second in command, Shagoth, an intelligent and powerful Shoggoth who thinks like an accountant and wishes to run the dark realm like a bureaucracy, is attempting to overthrow Cthulhu and become ruler of the dark realm. Appearing before the duo, Shagoth kidnaps Chrisotpher and takes him to R’lyeh where he plans to use Christopher as a human shield.

With Christopher in danger, Cthulhu fights Shagoth and wins (he resorts to telling Shagoth every flaw the Bureaucratic system has, causing madness and despair in the Shoggoth), but afterwards reveals that he no longer desires to be evil and rule the dark realm.

Freeing Christopher, he announces that Shagoth will be the new ruler on one condition: that every resident of the dark realm must be given the choice of being evil or good. After transferring his powers, Cthulhu becomes mortal and Shagoth disappears.

The story ends with Cthulhu meeting Christopher’s mother (she has taken leave from her job in order to properly look after him due to him running away and his confrontation with her) and the two visibly hit it off.

The epilogue shows their wedding with Shagoth as best man (who states that the dark realm has never been a happier place since the introduction of Cthulu’s rule).

Thanks for listening! I hope that this post hasn’t made you sane, cthulu fhtagn. The next story idea is another trilogy, which starts with “The Forgotten Peak”, look forward to it!

And remember, even if the dread-lord of madness and decay himself approaches you… IOHNIOHSIPOHF{BHAIOFB(!@*+&*@()$U&)(@$()*&@+… Stride!